Judging the Fear of Judgment

10X Business Letter
San Diego, Ca
Warm 72 Degrees

Dear 10X Business Builder,

Judgment: when someone forms an opinion about you.
Fear of being judged: When someone is afraid of being judged by someone else.
Fear of being judged in business and life: When you allow this fear of being judged stop you from doing something that you believe is important. This fear of being judged transforms itself into a illusory barrier, that whether you are aware of it or not, limits you from growing.

Recently I had a conversation with a person about his goals and dreams. He has a full-time job and during his free-time he does a lot of volunteer work with the homeless community. He is a rock-star person with a big heart and soul.
During my conversation, he mentioned his need for more people to get involved with his non-profit because his events are getting bigger.

Knowing that this person goes to a church with more than 5,000 members, I suggested he contact the leaders of the church and ask them if it is possible for him to speak for 5 minutes in front of the congregation to share his story about helping the homeless.

In my mind that was a no-brainer because this person has been going to this church for 5 years and his message is aligned with his church.

Once I was done with my suggestion, this person looked at me and said: Roberto that is a great idea BUT…

  • It is too many people, my church it too big
  • My church does not work like that
  • I have to be going to this church for a longer period of time before I ask them to speak (I ask myself, isn’t 5 years enough?)
  • This church has some amazing speakers and I am not that good. I am intimidated by them.
  • I am not a good speaker, I do not have the confidence
  • You get the point. Just like this person, many others struggle with the fear of speaking in front of groups. Sometimes I feel like a broken record saying the same thing over and over again, but I learned that FEAR is part of the human experience (that is why I wrote this blog and recorded this video)

Among the fears that stop people from speaking in front of a group, the FEAR of being judged is one of the big ones, and it usually is embedded in language like this:

  • I am afraid they will realize I am not smart enough.
  • They will think I am not legit.
  • They will think I am not a competent person because I am not a great presenter.
  • They will judge my ideas.
  • They will not like me.
  • They will think “who does he think he is for speaking AT us”
    And the list goes on…

While fear is just an emotion, not a fixed barrier, some people allow this illusory wall to block them from moving forward.

So what can you do?

One of things you can do is to adopt a new belief about the “fear of being judged” so it means something different to you. Ultimately instead of you being controlled by it, you are inspired by it.

One of the beliefs that has helped me to deal with the fear of being judged is this:

The ultimate judgment happens when people that need your help do not know you exist.

Here is my thought process behind this belief. In your community there are people that need your help, that are ready to pay handsomely for your services but they don’t because they do not know you exist. You can even take it further by imagining these people telling themselves… “I’ve never heard about that person/business before…maybe he is not that ….(great)” right?

You see my point. For me, not helping the people that need and want my help because they do not know I exist is the ultimate form of judgment, that is why I communicate ferociously!

In this video I explore this belief and I share another paradigm that may be able to help you (or someone you know) to deal with the fear of being judged.

Watch the video here:

Roberto Monaco
The 10X Business Letter 

Co-Founder, Influenceology

P.S: During our Influencing From The Front class we go deeper into all the fears that hold people back from being a rock-star and confident presenter. Chiropractors click here | Business Speakers click here

P.P.S.  – Just in case you are one of the pros who have no problem with fear, I want to let you know that during our Influencing From The Front class with go deeper into high-level influence and presentations strategies that will help you convert more, period!

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