Your Life Is Not a Tattoo

10X Business Letter
San Diego, Ca

Dear 10X Business Builder,

Recently I had lunch with a former Navy SEAL buddy. He’s currently going through his first EVER civilian job interview and was asking me guidance on how to be more influential during the process.

“Interestingly enough” I said, we just had a series of webinars with one of the top influence experts in the world — Dr. Kevin Hogan. And part of the training was about body language. I gave him some feedback about where to sit in relation to the interviewers and how and when to make eye contact and since the interviewers were women, I educated him about differing eye levels etc…

The job he’s interviewing for isn’t what you would call a high paying job.

In his own words, “the suit I’m wearing cost more than a month’s salary…”

Guys with “specialized” skills like him can make $15-$20k/mo as security contractors all around the world at the drop of a dime. So, I asked him why he wanted to take this job? He said he thought it would be a very fulfilling job because he suffered a major trauma to his brain, and this job is all about finding resources for veterans with his type of injuries and educating them on their availability.

Since he’s never had a civilian job, he has no idea what to expect.

So I asked him, what if you hate it? His answer, “you have to embrace impermanence”. (I ‘m not sure, but I think he might have been quoting the Buddha).

The moment he said that something clicked in me — like enlightenment.

It’s kinda hard to explain, but I felt like that was an answer to a question I had been searching for.

[Flashback to the Kevin Hogan webinars]

As I mentioned, we just completed a series of webinars with Dr. Kevin Hogan — and they were out-of-this-world — if I don’t say so myself.

These webinars were amazingly good stuff. Stuff that people in the past GLADLY paid to see.

There was so much content about research studies that I had never even heard about — let alone ever thought about.

Yet, even with all that amazing new information I was learning, my biggest breakthrough came when he was talking about his current sales page and explaining all the elements of it and how he had constantly changed and tested all of them.

He went on to say, “If you aren’t trying different things on your website, then you’re leaving money on the table…”

He was constantly changing his website’s content.

This really struck a cord with me… When I go to put something new on our website, I find myself thinking through all the possibilities of what it *could be*.

… what should the layout be?

… What colors?

… What is the copy going to be?

… Always to trying to think of everything.

It’s like I get into an argument with myself!!

Perhaps you can relate?

I’m not trying to say that you shouldn’t think through what you are doing but, for me, in this instance I realized that I was unconsciously acting out of some flavor of fear. But I couldn’t yet grasp what kind or why?

Was it the?…

…Fear of doing it wrong.

…Fear of it not working.

…Fear of the fact there might be a better way to do it.

I know it sounds a bit on the silly side, but’s it true.

This isn’t the same kind of physical fear you experience when a stranger jumps out at you.

This is a fear that I had a hard time putting my finger on.

But after eating lunch with my friend, I finally identified what it was for me.

It was an unconsciously thinking that everything I put on our site is permanent.

Like a tattoo.

If you’re going to get a tattoo, [*most people] think it through and think about it over and over, so they have THE PERFECT tattoo… so they won’t regret it later.

My unconscious thoughts were — you only get one shot so it better be perfect.

Here’s the problem: You’ll never know if it’s the best way before hand.

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to make everything so perfect, to avoid what we think is an ugly tattoo, that we don’t do anything at all.

When my buddy said, “you have to embrace impermanence“, I got the answer I was looking for.

I was looking at whatever route I decided to go as having to be that way forever. Which is simply not true. And I knew that.

It was a great reminder, that nothing is permanent. You can always change it. We have a saying here at InfluenceOlogy, “don’t get it right, just get it going…” and for some reason when it came to our website, I forgot.

It reminded me that learning often times is just remembering (as the great Aristotle says).

So my question to you is, “Are you embracing impermanence?

Is there a product or service that you simply haven’t created because you think it’s not perfect, that you don’t have all the answers you need.

Remember: you can always change it. I mean heck! Even if it is successful, it won’t last forever!!!

Is there a joint venture opportunity that you’ve been avoiding trying because you’re not sure if the relationship will work or not?

If so, remember you life is not a tattoo — NOTHING is forever. Nowadays even a tattoo can be changed or removed.


  1. Brian Mayer on February 18, 2013 at 5:54 am

    Just a thought about this article. For me its not just about whether or not it will work or not its also the fact that my website is for all to see and if I am not getting it right I will be judged. Especially in new relationships you want everything to be right and 90% of my visitors are entering into a new relationship with me.

    • Jeff Paro on February 20, 2013 at 10:32 am

      I can see why you think that. It’s a valid concern, but we can’t get caught up in trying to get it just right! I mean otherwise, you may end up taking 50 different takes when creating a video! ahahaha.

      Thanks for dropping a note!

      • Brian Mayer on February 20, 2013 at 11:06 am

        Actually it was 350 but who’s counting!

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